


Meant to Be Undone

by Azar



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-24
Updated: 2010-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-06 15:34:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azar/pseuds/Azar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I killed you once. Right or wrong, I couldn't do it again."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meant to Be Undone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Medie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/gifts).



> Written for Medie's prompt for the hetficathon. Because of that, and in honor of her story, "on those tuesdays...," the face of Romana III is Melissa George, even though in this universe she's *not* also Lauren Reed because I don't watch Alias. *g* Oh, and this was written before Jack's return in S3, so my description of his reunion with the Doctor was based on spoilers and speculation floating around at the time.
> 
> _Prompt: 54) Pairing: The Doctor/Romana (can be any regeneration of both. Including regenerations yet unseen)  
> What you'd like to see: Her surviving the Time War or being brought back by Rose in "Parting Of The Ways"  
> What you don't want to see: Dunno really....just no to the idea that the Doctor/Rose is the end all to be all._

"You know, I should probably tell you this isn't quite how I reacted to seeing Jack again."

She peered at him through a curtain of blonde hair--platinum this time rather than the gold that had become so familiar so long ago. "Much to his disappointment, I'm sure. Dare I ask?"

Her eyes were a different color too, but their ability to read him much better than he'd ever been comfortable with hadn't changed. He rolled over, unable to face those eyes and still make this confession.

"I tried to kill him."

"Truly?" When he didn't answer, she draped one arm over his shoulder and sighed. "I'm rather glad I wasn't around for that bit. I'd have had to stop you, and that can be so messy."

"He's not supposed to be alive!" The Doctor exclaimed in his own defense. Suddenly he needed distance--physical distance, since any other kind was impossible where she was concerned. He clambered out of bed and started to pace the room. "For that matter, neither are you."

Romana sat up, fixing him with a pointed stare. One hand pinned the sheet to her chest in a show of rather gratuitous modesty. "Yes, well, here I am. And I'd really rather you didn't kill me again; it was quite unpleasant enough the first time."

He opened his mouth as if to protest, then closed it again and looked away, his spirits visibly sagging. She regretted it immediately, but apologies had never been the currency of choice between them, and she did not know how to begin now. Her words had been meant to wound, but she ought to have seen how deeply wounded he was already--he had been alone for so long.

It was the Doctor who broke the terse silence. "You never did tell me...how...?"

"How did we manage to survive?" She sighed. "I don't know, precisely. There was...quiet. Peace. Call it oblivion, call it the Void, I'm not certain. Then...a voice. I couldn't tell what she said--"

The Doctor looked up sharply. "She?"

"Yes, it was a woman's voice," Romana nodded. "I couldn't understand the words...I don't think there was enough of me yet to understand them. And then...pain--like birth, death and regeneration all at once, as though I were being...dragged back into existence through a veil of razor wire. And then I was on the Game Station. Naked, alone except for Jack and a hundred corpses, and with no memory but that of dying...and you had just gone."

A voice...a woman's voice. "I bring life," she'd said. At the time, he'd only dreamt she might mean Jack, which was why he'd left in such haste--unable or unwilling to face the consequences of her actions, except for the one consequence he could not avoid. But no, she hadn't stopped there. She'd looked into the heart of his ship...and found his own hearts, ripped out and stilled. Then because she loved him, she'd waved her hand and made them beat again, even if he hadn't known it at the time. "She never understood. I thought...after the incident with her father...but she never did. Some things just aren't meant to be undone."

Romana reclined back on the bed, leaning her head on one hand, and raised an expectant eyebrow.

He grimaced, reaching up one hand to scrub it through his hair. "Ah...one of my companions, she...looked into the heart of the TARDIS--"

"Rose?"

The Doctor blinked, startled. "Yes, how did you--?"

"Jack spoke of her often. He seemed...fond of her." She tilted her head to one side, scooting a little closer to the edge of the bed. "As do you, truthfully."

He met her eyes then, a rueful, fragile smile on his face. "How could I not be? She reminded me of you." The Doctor dropped his eyes again and she could see that his hands were trembling.

She returned the smile with equal rue. "Ah. I see."

His voice was quiet when he answered her. "As you said, I killed you once. Right or wrong, I couldn't do it again."

He sank back down onto the mattress and she crawled across it to sit beside him, wrapping her arms about his waist and resting her chin upon his shoulder. She felt a muscle in his neck contract infinitessimally as he closed his eyes. "We searched for you nearly a year in relative time before Jack decided to stay on Earth and take up with Torchwood, at least one more passed before you ran into one another again--longer, I suspect, for you. Surely if it were so wrong for us to be living, the Reapers would have made an appearance long before now, don't you think?"

The Doctor swallowed hard. "I don't know. Truthfully, I pretend to know a great deal more than I do, these days."

"And this is different from the man I knew four hundred years ago in what regard, precisely?"

He let out a jagged laugh. "I haven't had you to give me that dubious look when I begin to go a bit mad with power and entertain the temptation to impose my will upon the universe."

"There, you see?" She smiled impertinently, reaching up one hand to turn his face towards her. "There was a purpose to my resurrection after all."

This time the smile that graced his face was both genuine and a little impish, though also a little sad still. "What, all that trouble just to keep me in line?"

"Well, someone has to do it," she retorted, pursing her own lips into a smirk. "Do you know anyone else more qualified?"

Romana could feel his hearts beating steady, strong and hopeful beneath her hands as he twisted in her arms and pulled her into a long kiss, filled with all the tenderness she remembered seeing in older, more familiar faces, and with none of the anger that had guided their earlier passion. "No, not another soul in the universe," he vowed as soon as they parted, then leaned in to kiss her again.

And that, she concluded, was exactly as it should be.


End file.
